Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Deadbeat Friend: Learn how to Prune Your Tree

Just as a tree sheds it’s dying (no longer useful) leaves, so should we with regards to those who occupy space in our inner circle. Of course, it sounds easy! The fact remains most of us can not do it! Can you guess why? GUILT! We feel a sense of loyalty, we are scared to hurt someone’s feelings or we are deceived with a person’s value. Learn from Mother Nature…when a part of you becomes dormant or destructive cut it off! Your inner circle, circle of sameness, associates and friends help mold who you are and who you are to become. You may have heard “your income level mimics those you surround yourself with”? I opine 5 years from now you will become who you associate yourself with in every facet of your life. This includes your spirituality, eating habits, entertainment, parenting, social tendencies, etc...

Here’s what I’d like you to consider. Many of your current friends/associates/business partners are dead weight. They are not only holding you back, but you are enabling them. Some absolutely mean you harm and will destroy you in the end! Are they truly your friends? In the book “The 48 laws of Power” Robert Greene warns with the 2nd law “Never put too much trust in your Friends” (read the book for a clearer understanding). No, I’m not advocating you excommunicate your friends and family. However, many of us who find ourselves mired with little positive movement need to clean up our circle “Today”. This may very well be the most difficult thing you’ve had to do. But it will be the most worth while…


Take a piece of unlined paper. Now draw a medium sized circle in the middle of the page. This represents you as the Sun of your Universe. Draw several smaller circles that surround “you” at various distances. Place names inside the circles that represent those most dear to you (either socially or business). Once you’re done walk away and give yourself about 30 minutes. When you come back look at each “moon” (circle) and on a separate sheet write what they bring to your life.

1. Do they inspire you to be a better you?
2. Do they make you happy when they are around you…?
3. Can they be counted on in a battle?
4. Do they make you feel guilty?
5. Do you hate when they call?
6. Could you borrow money in a pinch?
7. Do they only come around on Holidays?
8. Do they tell you the truth?

The answers to questions like these should help you determine whether or not they belong in your circle of Life or if they are a dead leaf on your tree.

Lastly, people are in our lives for a “Reason, Season, or Lifetime. Make sure you’re not keeping them around longer for the wrong reason…

***Exert & Exercise from the Best Selling book "How to Survive the Next 365"...
Milano Flascucci~


  1. Great article and exercise that should be revisited at least a couple times a year! Thank you for writing this!

  2. Thank you so much Marianne, I practice it monthly !!! :-)